The answers range from intelligence, position, money, courage to aura, personality etc. But I feel the one thing that is critical to command respect is INTEGRITY.
Integrity manifests itself in different ways.
There's personal integrity. Simply, giving credit where it's due. And raising your hand when things don't go well. I've seen apparent Giants act like dwarfs when they hijack someone's work and present it as their own. I've also seen people look around for scapegoats when shit hits the ceiling when admitting a mistake would be much simpler. And I don't know whether its insecurity that guides their action or indifference that prevents them from doing what's right. But the upshot is that people don't respect them. Personal integrity is critical to inspiring trust. And trust is a pseudonym for respect.
Then there's process integrity. Simply, promises made, promises kept. Some people simply do not accord a lot of importance to their word. How would they get others to respect their word if they themselves can't? Its actually quite simple - Don't commit, if you can't deliver. And deliver once you commit. If midway, you know you'll not be able to keep your promise, go back and re-set expectations. Don't just not pay any heed to it. I feel people take on a lot more than they can deliver, simply because they can't say NO. And once they realise that they can't manage it, they again can't say 'I was wrong'.
There's also Professional integrity. Showing things as they are. Some people confuse perspective with showcasing. I do not respect people who present data selectively. Who decide on something and instead of acknowledging that they are going by their gut, resort to manipulating data to support their decision. If you don't see you manager being truthful, how in the world will you respect him?
Lastly, there's intellectual integrity. Doing what's right vs. doing what's acceptable. Everybody wants to be liked - it's a universal emotion. But in our quest for being likeable, we tend to agree to everything, we don't make tough calls, we don't say it as it is. Skirting around an issue tends to create swirls that can drown a whole organization. People might like you because you're pleasant, but they won't respect you.
Integrity is a pre-requisite for commanding respect. For people build their trust over a strong foundation, not on shifting sands.
2 comments:
There is another behavior of my colleagues which i regard as lack of integrity. I guess its a mix of first and forth category - personal and intellectual.
Few would always want to prove that they are smarter than the rest.
They would have a question in every forum just for the heck of it.
While a team is working on a project when would have no or little involvement. But when there are update meetings with the bosses, they would suddenly be full of ideas (cool sounding but completely useless).
couldn't agree more. it's the classic tale of the corporate rat and his/her pursuit of the elusive cheese!
i loved the bit on manipulating data to show objectivity when there's hardly anything wrong with saying you went with your gut.
here's a nice quote from maya angelou: "there's a world of difference between truth and facts. facts can obscure the truth".
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