Integrity

What makes you respect someone?


The answers range from intelligence, position, money, courage to aura, personality etc. But I feel the one thing that is critical to command respect is INTEGRITY.


Integrity manifests itself in different ways.


There's personal integrity. Simply, giving credit where it's due. And raising your hand when things don't go well. I've seen apparent Giants act like dwarfs when they hijack someone's work and present it as their own. I've also seen people look around for scapegoats when shit hits the ceiling when admitting a mistake would be much simpler. And I don't know whether its insecurity that guides their action or indifference that prevents them from doing what's right. But the upshot is that people don't respect them. Personal integrity is critical to inspiring trust. And trust is a pseudonym for respect.


Then there's process integrity. Simply, promises made, promises kept. Some people simply do not accord a lot of importance to their word. How would they get others to respect their word if they themselves can't? Its actually quite simple - Don't commit, if you can't deliver. And deliver once you commit. If midway, you know you'll not be able to keep your promise, go back and re-set expectations. Don't just not pay any heed to it. I feel people take on a lot more than they can deliver, simply because they can't say NO. And once they realise that they can't manage it, they again can't say 'I was wrong'.

There's also Professional integrity. Showing things as they are. Some people confuse perspective with showcasing. I do not respect people who present data selectively. Who decide on something and instead of acknowledging that they are going by their gut, resort to manipulating data to support their decision. If you don't see you manager being truthful, how in the world will you respect him?

Lastly, there's intellectual integrity. Doing what's right vs. doing what's acceptable. Everybody wants to be liked - it's a universal emotion. But in our quest for being likeable, we tend to agree to everything, we don't make tough calls, we don't say it as it is. Skirting around an issue tends to create swirls that can drown a whole organization. People might like you because you're pleasant, but they won't respect you.

Integrity is a pre-requisite for commanding respect. For people build their trust over a strong foundation, not on shifting sands.

The 3 moments of truth

Leaving a company has 3 moments of truth.

The First Moment of Truth (FMOT), when after months of chewing on the thought of leaving and feeling around its taste on your tongue; you finally digest it in your mind. Its a simple click when everything seems to fall in place and a blinding clarity reveals itself.

The Second Moment of Truth (SMOT) is when you make the leap from thought to words. When you translate your decision into an action. Sitting across your manager and telling him its off is like a load off your chest. Now, its out there and now it will happen.

The Third Moment of Truth (TMOT) is your farewell party. Its the ceremony that completes the transition. Farewell speeches are signposts. They indicate a turn where you leave behind the past and face a new future.

How many Moments of Truth have you had?

A Cynic's view of meetings

The one moment I dread most in big meetings is when the Boss rocks back in his chair, makes a wide sweep with his arm and asks, 'what do you guys think?'

Suddenly, everyone feels compelled to have a point of view. Even those who were either catching up on sleep or checking email on their blackberry, perk up, put their arms back on the table and pretend to be thinking hard.

Then the verbiage comes. This ranges from thinking aloud to thought through. As the baton is passed on, everyone pretends to say something different. Most of the time, people say the same thing in different words. Its not considered good to say, 'I don't have anything to add'.

After a while, it becomes comical as people start snatching at scraps. Comments start focusing on format, colors and typos.

Now the Boss is in a quandary. Having asked everyone their opinion, he can't just ignore them. He has to "build on" what others have said. If you're lucky, the nightmare ends in one round. Mostly however, someone realises that he failed to say something intelligent and is compelled to make amends. Rarely does the 2nd attempt break away from the band of inanity.

More often than not, you leave the room more confused than clearer. Not much is achieved. But keeping with the general tone, you also pretend to understand.

What you have definitely achieved is a climbdown from purity of individual thought to the lowest common denominator of democratic concurrence.

Is there a way out of this?

Keep me in the loop

Most people I know, love being kept in the loop.

As long as they're 'kept in the loop', they are ok. The moment, they see something progressing without their knowledge, there is a reflex action of disagreement. Sometimes, disagreement precedes comprehension (or the lack of it!)

Isn't it funny that we are guided more by our need to belong than a desire to promote what is right?

Is it because we believe that nothing good can occur without our concurrence or is it that we don't want to face the possibility that our opinion doesn't count?

Don't we waste precious time and energy in alignments and building consensus? All this to satisfy an old tribal instinct?

If everyone leaves a fingerprint, what you get is a smudge-mosaic not a piece of art.

Courage

During a discussion last week, we chanced upon talking about successful people. As is our wont, a theoretical argument ensued on what makes a person successful.

The first hypo obviously was intelligence. The person has to be smart. He needs to have brains. He needs to be able to spot opportunities.

The second one was luck. Even if a person is smart, has brains and is able to spot opportunities, he should be in a position where opportunities present themselves. Too many smart people never get to demonstrate their smarts because they have no luck!

Then there were many - lineage, hard work, peer group, pedigree etc.

The one that most appealed to me was courage. The smartest, luckiest and richest people won't amount to much if they lacked the courage to utilize their intelligence, leverage their opportunities and invest their wealth (mental and mercantile)

Courage is sometimes called risk taking. Whatever name you might give this quality, I feel that without courage, its hard to succeed.

A wide sweep across the human horizon would reveal that the happiest people had the courage to follow their conviction. They don't lay much store by peer approval. They don't try to live their parents' dreams. They do not forsake their current happiness for a future manna.

Courage is uncomfortable. Courage is disruptive. Courage is risky. But Courage keeps the 'if onlys' at bay. Courage helps you 'enjoy the journey'. Courage allows you to sleep with a smile on your lips..............

Having the courage to take the plunge separates the explorers from the squatters

ps: note that I have equated success with happiness because there is no better measure of success in my view.
pps: just want to acknowledge the person who brought up courage as a factor -thanks!

Living each day as if it were your last

Over the last month, I've been enjoying work more than I have for a long time. I speak my mind, I think about the legacy I'll leave and I fight for what's right without getting hung up on the politics.

I don't care for the consequences of my actions as long as I'm sure my intent is right. I don't get stressed if my manager is. I don't get stressed if my reportee is screwing up. I don't get stressed if my MFT members do not show the same sense of urgency.

I smile a lot more. I smell the proverbial roses along the way. I'm generally happier.

I know this is because its my last month in my current job. But I wish I had spent my career thus far, taking each day as if it were my last.

Knowing that the worst that can happen is losing your job prevents you from losing more important things - your sleep, your self-respect and your pursuit of happiness........

Whatsay?